Don Goldstein, a retired ophthalmologist, moved to Belmont Village Calabasas, a senior living community in California, about 3 1/2 years ago. It took him little time to become a fixture of the community.
“First of all, I no longer play Jeopardy, I run Jeopardy,” Goldstein says.
Goldstein – now vice chair of the Resident Council at Belmont Village – encouraged the community to set up an electronic system to mimic the TV game as close as possible, complete with buzzers.
“It’s better than raising hands and trying to guess who had their hand up first,” he explains.
The value he brings to Belmont Village Calabasas, however, is one that is paid back; when he first arrived, he was considered a fall risk. He relied on the use of walker. His legs felt weak.
Within nine months of physical therapy at Belmont Village Senior Living, however, he no longer needed a walker. In fact, Goldstein even began boxing with the head of the physical therapy department – and that activity, along with Jeopardy and other creative pursuits, continues today.
Deciding to Move to a Senior Living Community
Goldstein’s journey to senior living first began with his spouse.
“My wife, Roberta, had mid-stage dementia and some other medical problems,” Goldstein recalls. “For about 14 months, I did everything to care for her at home, but it got to the point where I became physically and mentally burned out.”
His family started searching for a caring senior living community, and Belmont Village was the right fit. Roberta’s sister and Goldstein also toured the community, ultimately conveying to Roberta that it was a logical option: It would keep them both safe – and together.
“The house was a risk,” Goldstein says. “If one of us fell and had to be elsewhere, we’d be separated.”
Coming to Belmont allowed them to receive appropriate levels of care while letting the couple spend time together. Sadly, Roberta passed away, but Goldstein says he spent most of his time with her, including eating meals together.
Getting to Know Other Residents
Despite losing Roberta, Goldstein isn’t lonely. Making new friends comes easy for him.
“I’m not shy,” says Goldstein. “When I see a new resident or couple, I go up and introduce myself or find a place where we can sit together.”
He encourages others to do the same. If you’re not sure where to start, he suggests trying to sit at a different table or taking steps to break out of familiar routines. All it takes is a few words.
“It’s hard to know who other people are unless you talk with them,” he says. “You’ll find people you like.”
He also has a great relationship with staff, recalling good conversations, pranks and plenty of laughs. One such prank involved an employee who feigned being on the receiving end of one of Goldstein’s famous physical therapy boxing punches. Before that person revealed he was wearing black makeup near his eye, he had Goldstein convinced that the unfortunate “bruise” was Goldstein’s doing. The two got a good laugh and remember the prank to this day.
Tapping Into Creativity and Fitness
In addition to boxing, which he participates in three times per week, Goldstein takes aerobics classes.
“I work hard to keep my legs strong,” he says.
Goldstein is also an enthusiastic creative writer; it’s “one of my favorite things to do,” he says.
In his creative writing class, led by Activity Programs Coordinator Jana Ostroff, photos often act as a prompt.
“It could be anything – sad, funny, weird – and she’ll say, ‘OK, write a story about this,’” Goldstein explains.
After 25 minutes, he churns out wildly creative stories, some of which he’s turned into plays and shows he’s put on for the community. He recalls one in particular with fondness: “The Brothers Goldstein.” It’s a one-man show involving a bobblehead in Goldstein’s likeness named “Ron.”
This play featured seven different comedy sketches. The eighth act, however, was especially meaningful for Goldstein, and one that took a more serious tone; it served as a eulogy to Roberta, who passed away a few months before the play’s performance. He explains that he was not able to speak at her funeral and, therefore, was unable to give a eulogy. It was fitting for him to honor her at the place where they both lived and in a creative manner.
Making Your Senior Living Community Your Home
Although Goldstein is full of energy, surrounding himself with activities and friends, he knows what it’s like to make the transition to a senior living community. He offers some candid advice.
“You have to be willing to face the new reality: it’s not your home. Some people will rub you the wrong way, or there will be some who complain,” he says. “But that’s anywhere these days,”
Personality variations, he adds, exist across all circumstances and places – the supermarket, people from past careers, people living in the old neighborhood decades ago.
He assures others that while it may not be the place you most recently lived in, filled with the same people and memories, a senior living community quickly becomes your new home. You create new memories, but the previous ones can still hold a special place in your heart.
Moving to a new community also doesn’t mean that family interaction goes by the wayside. Goldstein has some family around, including a son who lives 10 minutes from Belmont Village.
“If I want to go out for dinner, they pick me up,” he says.
There’s no doubt Belmont Village is the ideal place for him. From his plays and people skills to playing trivia games and having family visits, Goldstein says he couldn’t be happier.
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